My Canadian Experience

Gwyn and I are back from our five weeks on the road promoting our books. Needless to say we had many adventures but the one I want to share is the one that started in Niagara Falls, NY.

We both wanted to see the falls one more time so the morning we were leaving we took another stroll through the park and Gwyn snapped quite a few photos. However, I noticed that she was not walking at a good clip so I told her to take her time getting up to the bench by the street and I would go get the van and pick her up.

Had no trouble until I tried to make a left turn to go to the park. The first left turn said parking lot for Canada. I didn't want to go there. At the light it was no entry on the other side of the road. A right turn would have taken me out of town so naturally I turned left. I realized my mistake too late. There was no way to turn around and go back. I was on my way to Canada.

The gentleman in the toll booth was very nice and apologized for having to charge me $3.75. He said people make that mistake all the time. Not to worry that when I got to the other side the officer would tell me where to turn around. I said that was okay it was my mistake and forked over the $3.75.

That wasn't the way it went. I pulled up to the booth and the young man asked me for my passport, birth certificate and driver's license and asked me why I was in Canada. I told him I only had my driver's license as I had not meant to come to Canada I had simply made a wrong turn and wanted to go back to New York.

Next he told me to remove my sunglasses. I complied. He then asked me about my middle name on the driver's license, which is Schenck, my maiden name. He hesitated for quite a while then asked if I was carrying guns or explosives. This was no time for any smart remarks on my part, so I said no, that the boxes contained books, that I was a writer and that I got a lot of ideas from life's experiences. He didn't even crack a smile.

While all of this was going on my cell phone, that I had charging...way in the back of the van started ringing. I knew it was Gwyn wondering where I was but there was no way I could get back there to answer it. Finally it stopped ringing...for about 20 seconds and then it started up again.

At this point he asked me what I was doing in Niagara Falls and I told him my husband promised to bring me 25 years ago and never did. He asked if I was alone. I told him no that my friend was waiting for me on a park bench in the USA.

He finally directed me to the spot to make a U-turn. Of course, I had to wait in line. There were four cars ahead of me. The phone started to ring again. I was in a quandary. If I got out and opened the back hatch would the border guards grab me, put me against the van and tell me to spread 'em? Sooooo trying to be an unobtrusive I slid open the side door and reeled in the phone that I had rigged with a rubber band because the charger wasn't making proper contact. It was Gwyn wanting to know where I was and did I go to Canada? The woman is so perceptive.

Finally, it was my turn at the border station. I had to go through the whole explanation again but this time I got the right directions to the park.

So now you heard about my Canadian experience. I am going to let Gwyn give her version of her experience with the oriental tour guide who was sitting on the bench with her. That is a whole other story.